Lots Going On

This has been another hectic week for the Kitchen Bitch. Half our class showed up for the first three days so that meant that the rest of us worker bees had to hustle to do all the presentation dishes.

I filleted out about 6 trout, cut them in half, put them in fish brine overnight, then smoked them in the smoker the next day.

I cleaned and trimmed a big ole Artic Char fishy and cut it down thin like so I could pipe some fish moussiline on the inside, role it up like a holiday yule log then poached it, chilled it and will cut it out and present it tomorrow on a platter. I made 4 of these puppies. That took me into 2 1/2 hours overtime on Tuesday.

I made some dressings for a few different salads, made some cheese and jalapeno crackers for another dish and just busted my butt for 3 days solid. Whew.

I also had my friends from Chicago out for a one day visit yesterday. Joe and Cher are the best buddies. We have such a good time together and a fabulous dinner. More on this in another post. They deserve their own post!

Tomorrow I head down to Los Angeles to visit with my daughter, cook a Chef dinner for two friends on Saturday, visit with friends Sunday, lunge with Joey and a quick visit (I hope) to my dentist Monday then back to San Fran. After that there will only be 4 days of this advanced Garde Manger class to sweat.

I'm coming up on my one year mark! I can't believe I'm finishing my classes and getting my degree. Awesome!

I'll have to finish my externship at the San Francisco Chronicle and then by February 1st I'll be a free agent!! Anyone need a live in Chef?? Hey, you never know.....

Buy Me A Drink!!

This week is OVER! What a ton of work we did. We busted our butts all week to make platters of food today for the Friday Buffet in our Careme Dining room. Phil and I made a brickload of Chicken Sausages, Smoked Racks of Lamb, a grilled rack of lamb, a Chicken Liver Terrine and a gallantine of Poussin (small chicken). In addition we had to make accompanying sauces for each and salads, salad dressings and then personalize them with our own garnishes and plating ideas. Then we had to make two cold soups; a Gazpacho and a Vichyssoise (potato/leek soup).

The little shot glass is filled with Gazpacho. The only thing I personally liked out of what we made was the Lamb. I'm not one who cares much for the "force meats" categories.

I'm relived the week is over and my poor feet have 2 days to regain circulation before we begin again in a new food group. Phil and I were in the Meat Group this week. Next week we'll either have Seafood or Charcuterie (sausages, headcheese and such). I don't know how my feet will survive this class. When I got home today I just wanted to put them in the microwave and blow them up. Couldn't hurt any more than they did.

I left class so late yesterday working to get everything set up for today that I missed the shuttle bus to take me back to the barracks so I had to catch the real town bus. I was chatting with some friends when the bus came so I made a dash for it, jumped on and sat down for the ride. After a short while I noticed that the driver was taking a different route... oh wait, I must have got on the WRONG BUS! After a nice cheap tour of the streets of San Fran I got off the damn bus at 1st and Market which is by the Embarcadero (where the ships dock). I had a nice long walk back. I got provisions, read: diet pepsi and chicken soup (shoulda got two cups o'soup - one for each foot) and just kept walking until I finally got through the Tenderloin District (they should rename it Tenderfoot District), the Civic Center and then to my little merchant seaman quarters at the Oasis Inn.

Then it was rise and shine this AM at 5:30 to do it all over again. My feet were still mad at me for my bussing blunder and screamed at me all day. So, do I take one Vicodin or one for each foot Doc? Seriously. Ow.

Ewww Food

I'm not sure if I should say this but after working with things like gallantines, terrines, pate's and such I'm pretty sure I'm cured ('scuse the pun) of eating them in the next 50 years. Its a personal thing. I just don't want to eat pure pork fat. I don't like squishing all the meats together to look like brown baby food. Adding some dried fruits and nuts does nothing to entice me to eat it.

Have you ever eaten Liverwurst? It's soft and squishy and formed into a shape. What was it before that? Have you ever considered the answer to that? It was most likely chopped up livers mixed with pork fat and grinded together over and over till it came out squishy. Season it. Big deal. I used to love liverwurst sandwiches with sliced onions and tomatoes with mustard and mayonnaise. I'm cured of my craving for it now.

Especially after today where I was squishing meat through a grinder, I have no interest in consuming softened meat. If I grow old and lose my teeth I'll go vegetarian. The whole process is long, tiresome, and exhaustive in putting everything together. If you take too long you have to make sure the meats are sitting in a bowl over ice so it won't "go bad". I don't like making food with that type of consideration hanging over my head. I don't want to make people sick.

The grinders are BIG. You have to make sure to ice all the components so the fat doesn't congeal in the parts, if it does it gets all bolloxed up. Like mine did today. Then you have to take it all apart, clean it out, ice it up and restart. You have to use your fingers to get all the squished meat from inside the big screw that holds things together. Usually you just flick it back in the bowl with the rest of the stuff. Its not like eating icing from a frosting bowl. Somehow it grosses me out. It also grosses me out when the person before me didn't do a good job cleaning up after they used the grinder. Meat fingerprints all over the machine parts. Meat stuck inside the squishing tube/tunnel thingy. Blech.

Somehow I still don't think of Oscar Meyer baloney as squished meat. I love my baloney sandwiches. And I still like Oscar Meyer turkey hot dogs. I guess if I had to make it I'd change my mind. Oscar Meyer is my comfort food maker. I'm just not gonna eat brown coldpressed baby food with dried fruits and nuts, nor am I gonna eat cold squished pork fat. Ewww.

Bull in a China Cabinet

Today in our Advanced Garde Manger class I had a little misunderstanding. With the Chef. Oh Boy. First day of class.

We're working in teams and FINALLY I have my best teammate, Phil to work with. I'm happy. We are all working on foods that will be presented in our restaurant on Friday's Grand Buffet. This means lots of smoked proteins, pate's, gallantines, ballantines and terrines. Google them if you want to know what they mean. Its late here and I'm not in the mood to keep typing descriptions.

Okay. Perfect example of where my mindset was today. (the previous suggestion to google). I was making 5 gallons of poultry brine whilst my buddy Phillip was deboning 4 poussin (the smallest chickens). Both of us were busy, busy, busy. I had made 1 gallon of brine when someone said I needed to make more. Well, the Chef had written 5 gallons on the board but it looked like a spelling for "poultry brine - sugar" We do put brown sugar in the brine along with salt and I wondered why he mentioned sugar so clearly but just got busy with my chores. Anyway, I was annoyed when I had to begin the process all over again, but got busy making what I needed to do.

I cooked both brines and chilled them with ice and had to leave the 4 pounder on the stove to cool while I began frenching lamb chops to put in a meat brine. (terrible shame. They should be heaped with garlic, rosemary, salt and olive oil and grilled)

Anyflay, I heard someone ax where the Poultry Brine was and I pointed to the stove and told them which pot it was in. About 15 minutes later someone else axed me where the brine was. Again, I said "over here, on the stove, that big pot". 20 minutes later I got another soundout with someone axing where the flippin' freakin' brine was so I said "Its in the same place it was the last time you asked me! Right here on the stove". As I said the last sentence I turned to see who was speaking so I could send a dagger beware glare and locked eyes with the Chef!! Some in the class were making those Oooohhh noises like you give out when someone disses someone really good. I quickly turned back around and said to myself "OH SHIT". I saw his face and it wasn't an "A" grade face. He even rolled his eyes and stuff. OMG.

After I changed my diapers, I collected myself and went over to the Chef and apologized telling him I don't know his voice yet and he sounded like a student so I just answered sarcastically since I'm not familiar with his voice yet. I told him it was the 3rd time I was asked about the brine.

Holy cow. What a close call. I definitely now know the sound of the Chef's voice. Absolutely.

Two More Classes to Go!

FINALLY our Banquets and Catering class is over! Of all the classes I've taken this one was a real bee-yotch. We were all little sheep having daily run-ins with the Head Tomato about one thing or the other.

I would be remiss if I told you about all the countless little things that was driving us nuts on a daily basis. Really. I love my school and Mr. Tomato Head is part of that so I won't degrade it with usless fun gossip and banter.

This blog would be more interesting if I did but I simply don't see the readership here that I see on, say, Andi's blog http://andisperfectgravy.blogspot.com/ . If I had that kind of readership I might be persuaded to bend my integrity and throw caution to the wind. But after a year of writing I haven't had more than....oh forget it. Less than a site visit a day does not move me to acts of hand written recklessness and disparaging remarks.

Come on peoples! Tell your friends to read my blog cuz Lord knows I don't have any.

One Tough Week

This has been a very trying week. We've had a LOT of work to do in our Banquets and Catering class. We put together a beautiful event Monday for our Career Fair at the Academy. We had a beautiful ice carving centerpiece that had the words SLOW FOOD etched in the ice and there was a ice vase on top of it that held Fall colored flowers. It was pretty cool. (slight pun intended)

The term Slow Food is becoming quite popular. It started in opposition to Fast Food. The slow part also means that you choose your foods grown by local growers and use organic and sustainable products. It is also meant to bring the family back to the table together to eat whereas fast food is done with everyone on the run going their separate ways. Its a nice concept.

As a class, we had to develop the food menus for both events which meant cooking for two days for each event to prep everything. The Career Fair was for 40 people and the event today offsite at a home for the elderly was for 100 people. Today we heated and preped as much as possible in class then transported it all to the site in hot boxes. The Career Fair was easier since it was all at the school in their restaurant The Careme Room.

Today's event was themed after National Hispanic Month so we had a mexican chicken soup; a mango/pineapple and jicama salad with cilantro and jalapeno's and lime juice; followed by the entree which was a breakfast burrito with chorizo, eggs and red bell peppers wrapped in a spinach tortilla served with rice and beans; and dessert was fruit empanada with a fruit topping and lime accented whipped cream.

I don't know why anyone wants to get into catering. Its way too much work! After the lunch was over there was the tremendous cleanup process which was made harder because half the class had to leave to go to their day jobs or whatever. The few of us left were real grumbly. We were in a cramped space, had tons of dishes, glassware, flatware and pans to empty and store for transporting back to school. Then unloaded it all and distributed it in appropriate places. Ugg!

I'm pooped. I can't wait till this class is over. I worked in what is termed the Back of the House meaning that I never even got to see the people enjoy their food. Its kinda funny though what goes on in the kitchen and what everyone says while we're working. We laugh, complain, eat, joke around and I have no idea how everything got done on time. Pretty amazing. I don't want to do it again though. Its a tough job. My feet hurt.

Duck Fat and a Danish

Our Banquets and Catering class is putting on a onsite banquet Monday, a continental breakfast and a lunch. We will be making everything from scratch. We spent Thursday and Friday prepping the doughs, preparing the veggies and being happy because we were in the kitchen again sporting knives as accessories.

We've prepared about 45 crossiants, danish, yogurt, granola, fruit jams and honey butter for the breakfast portion. For lunch, we've made ciabatta rolls that will house some nicely shredded Muskovy Duck with a cranberry relish and some mesculan greens, Soba Noodles with vegetables in a vinagrette sauce (vegetarian selection), Heirloom tomatoes stuffed with baby artichokes and asparagus in vinagrette and finished with sweet ginger dumplings. Our event calls for 35 people but we'll make enough for overage just in case.

We're even making our own fresh squeezed juices. Don't I sound happy, happy. Another reason is that next week is our last week in this class! We can't wait for the last episode of our own Prison Break!! The warden is pushing the prisoners to desperate measures. We could mutiny at any time. YEAH, that's it. Capt'n Bly! We're pirates. (oh my, I'm losing it.)

Back to Earth Lt. Sulu! (Star Trek talk) We have another event to produce Wednesday which is an offsite catering event at a place called The Bethany House. It's a retirement home for low or no income individuals. We'll be doing an early-bird buffet type brunch there. It'll be a feel good week with more time in the kitchen.

Hi-ho, hi-ho, its off to work we go..... Me and all the little munchkins cooking in the kitchens. What a Disney moment. I'm feeling so technicolor.

Grrr, Argh, Other Irritable Noises

Brief note: Too many things that shouldn't be written happen in our Banquets and Catering class. I'm in a connundrum. I don't believe in trashing others so I'm not writing much during this course.

Teaching styles are different depending on individuals and students are reactive in exchange. Let me just say that in one way this class is kinda fun, on the other hand, its pretty difficult to keep one's mouth shut. Entirely.

Oh boy... this is interesting.

I Have Obtained My Internship!

I will be interning at the San Francisco Chronicle in their Food and Wine Department! Wow, what a catch. Its perfect for me. The internship of 3 months is required by the CCA in order to get your degree for the Culinary Program. I'm so fortunate. It is a Mon - Fri position 9-5. YES!

For those of you who don't know, the Chronicle's Food and Wine department has a full service kitchen where they test recipes that they print for the public. I'll also be actively involved in learning how a newspaper section works, be part of the production team, help organize the wine and food parings and tastings, manage the wine cellar inventory, write articles as assigned and do culinary research and development. What a bonus position!!

I'll start on November 10th and the assignment ends January 31st. By then I'll have to have something else lined up as an official job. By that time I will also be a Certified Cordon Bleu Chef! Pretty cool. This year is pulling up quickly. I could say how fast time has flown but that's a tired old phrase. I'm a much different person now than I was a year ago, that much I can say.

I'm getting close to accomplishing a life long dream. That's pretty heady stuff. I'll just leave it at that. Keep your dreams alive.

Enter Banquets and Catering

We started a new "sit-down" non kitchen class yesterday called Banquets and Catering. You may already know how I feel about non kitchen classes. In case you don't I've added a new Cat-O-Meter picture demonstrating my feelings at this point.

So far this is a lecture class. [read: stay awake numbskull!] Our Chef Instructor has a looong drawn out voice that tends to find one figeting or engaged in little distractions that entertain.

At one point today I had to sneeze so I grabbed a napkin from my sausage, egg and potato tortilla wrap, (which kept me busy and awake for a while) so when I sneezed into the napkin I heard two whistlely-squeeks come out of each nostril. Naturally, I thought the entire class could hear, which they didn't, so I laughed. Basically, what you heard was me sneezing then laughing. That in itself was pretty funny. Phil sure cracked up but then we are all pretty starved for fun in that class. (why is it no one heard my whistley-squeeks but they all sure hear when someone blows a gas-ket?)

Phil cracked me up when he was holding his pen in his hand, which was holding up his head, when he slowly dozed off and snapped up when his pen hit the table and flew onto the floor. That woke him up. I laughed. What fun this class is.

Then, I was doing some self entertainment of matching up my thumbs flat side to flat side and checking out which one was bigger than the other (the right - I'm right handed) and getting so drawn into that microscopic finger world that Phil had to push my shoulder to bring me out of the meditative state and back to the class lecture. (I really think Phil thought I was asleep and was jealous so he woke me.)

The purpose of this class is not self-entertainment but learning all about doing Banquets and doing catering. We're going to cater off-site somewhere during this class towards the end of the 3 weeks. We also will be setting up the banquet for a Career Fair which will be held at the Academy on the 22nd. So you see, the class has merit beyond vaudeville humor. But believe me, we need this childish humor right now.

SF Civic Center Goes Country

The downtown San Francisco Civic Center has done something pretty amazing. They are using grow food! All food products harvested from the site will go into the SF Food Bank to help feed those in need.

I think this is very forward thinking. Its received a lot of good attention and was the backdrop for the recent Labor Day Slow Food Nation fair.

I walked through it the other day to see what they were growing. There's squash, broccoli, onions, lots of lettuce, tomatoes, green beans, corn, and herbs. Its a real treat for this city dweller to see a bit of "country" nearby. It is also proving nice for the pollenators. I noticed a lot of butterfly's and bees at work.

As a Chef in Training, this is my Eye Candy. I'm proud of the Mayor of San Francisco for allowing this opportunity. More Cities should follow suit. Its all volunteer staffed by people who want to make a difference. I'm all for that. You Rock, San Fran!

Careme 350

The California Culinary Academy has its own public restaurant called the Careme 350. The students prepare and cook all the food for this dining spot. I had a chance to eat there this past Friday evening with my friend Jana and her two friends. It was really pretty impressive.

The buffet portion wrapped around all three sides of the room and each station had completely different food offerings, from smoked duck with a delicious cranberry sauce to pate's, terrines, smoked fish, meats, vegetables, soup shots, and any item you can think of. It was over-the-top! After grazing on this multitude of samplings we ordered off the menu. At this point we didn't mind that the actual serving portions were small since we had already quaffed the measure of a full meal. We weren't hurried like a normal restaurant and so we chatted and enjoyed ourselves and our wine.

There was also quite a display of sweets to choose from. Cheesecakes, mini fruit tarts, little cakes, things stuffed with sweet creamy wonderous gels and creams. Double chocolates this and extra creamy thats. We moved in on them like termites on cheap siding. It was fun. Shameful, but fun.

I gotta do that again!

Dollars into Dough

Today in Baking and Pastry my group migrated to the bread making. We made kalamata olive bread, baguettes, foccacia breads (2 diff kinds), bread sticks, and tortilla strips oiled with a tumeric oil for one batch and a paprika oil for the second batch. This was just for color. I prepped 15 large tortilla "baskets" to hold the mini breads. This was accomplished by oiling large flour tortilla's then sprinkling with salt and herbs. I used fresh minced parsley, minced rosemary and oregano. After prepping I folded them into metal mixing bowls to form a shape of a "basket" and baked them until they were browned golden on the top parts. You need to remove them from the bowls or they will continue to cook and bake.

When completed, we arranged the different breads artfully then we stuck the tortilla strips in between the breads so they stood up in lighten bolt fashion and then placed a rosemary sprig up in the middle for color. It looked great. It didn't taste bad either. (I had to make sure they were edible!)

We'll be doing this until Friday which is our competition day. We have to know all about all that we did in this class on that day. We, as a class, must complete the entire stock of what we have learned over these last 3 weeks. Should be interesting. I'm good with tempering chocolate now so that's out of the way. My blister from working with hot sugar has popped and peeled so I'm ready again for that. I LOVE making breads so that's no worry. I'm just not keen on the little bitsy desserts. Too annoying. I like cooking for cowboys. Big groups. Not them tini little thangs. I'm off for the big leagues.

Until then, I remain humble.....

Oscar Meyer Chocolate Box

Every day we must take on the onerous task of tempering and working with chocolate. The first day's work had me looking like I just got off one of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs episodes. One of my classmates even refused to continue to work with me as she didn't want to clog up her washing machine that night. It was hellacious work. So much dark, gooey chocolate, so little clean space to work in, so much patience.

Our job was to work the chocolate into shapes and make a triangle box with a top on it. Sounds easy enough. Chef made it look darn simple. Needless to say, at the end of the class you might as well have packed me a brown bag lunch and popped me on the short yellow bus. It was this woman that turned 'darn simple'.

With a sense of imagination I did make a box. Of sorts. I told everyone I made a coffin. It was dark and foreboding indeed. I carefully wrapped it up in several layers of plastic wrap disguising it as a slice of cake. I had to smuggle it out of school lest ANYONE see what I had done. What an embarassment.

When I got into the Bat Cave I tossed it in the trash. No photo. Oh hell no. Had I done that and posted it here I would have had to attach photos of a tsunami sized barf bag, some industrial strength eye bleach, towelettes by Hazmat and goggles by NASA. No sirree. No photos. I don't need that slice of Lucifer following my career as a Chef.

Today went far better. I didn't get all messed up and I made nice little squares that I can create a good little box with tomorrow. Then I just head to UPS and ship that sucker far, far away. There is a crystalized reason I did NOT get into the Baking and Pastry Program. I'm a savory type, not a creamy sweet carmely type.

Well that last line should get some comments!

350 Degrees Challenged

Its been about 10 months now living in the "indoor campsite" and I'm getting starved for the use of an oven. I have to make do with store bought baked goods. Like Costco's chicken, which is delicious to me since they brine it before roasting it, but its huge. I think it's almost bigger than my campsite refrigeratorette. I have to eat a lot of chicken before I can get it in that little thing. I'm not talking so much about eating roasted foods but actually cooking them.

I miss my roasted garlic chicken, roasted potatoes and vegetables and baked chicken thighs with feta, butter and rosemary stuffing. I can't do that here in my little slice of Oasis. I can't pop anything in the oven and walk away and come back in 45 minutes to a golden piece of baked or roasted joy.

One day, when I get somewhere kitchen blessed, I'll roast and bake the day away for a good 6 months. Appreciate your oven for me. When you pull something yummy out of your oven, think of me. When you bite into a luscious bit of crispy golden roasted chicken skin, send a thought my way. You really don't know how precious your oven is to me.

I browse online to look at ovens. Aww, sad isn't it.

Sugar High

Mom, mom. Guess what I did in school today? I made you a rose mom. Here ya go.

We worked with blinding hot sugar today. Got a blister on the finger in the process but I made my rose! I'm pretty impressed with myself since it was my first time ever working with moldable lava.

Its a safe bet that I won't be taking on this facet of the culinary world anytime soon. It looks good but I prefer others to get their 3degree burns for it. I'm saving my fingers for the expensive knife collection.

Playing with My Food Again

The second Saturday of this month was my catering day at my cousin's Art Gallery Art Walk. I decided to do something other than the usual cantaloupe duck or watermelon basket. Introducing the Radish Family Mice!

The mice moved in while I was out flying my kites. (lousy segue) but you see my dilemma with my other creation. I loved it and it was very well recieved by the artists and the public! I was happy.

Relax, Un-wine for a Moment

This week has the makings of a very good, easy-going week. We are studying Wines II. Today was a pleasurable tour through the Piedmont area of Italy where one of my favorite wines finds its home - none other than Barolo and also its kissing cousin Gattinara from the delicious, heavenly Nebbiolo grape. During our tasting of the Pio Cesare (my favorite producer) Barolo I couldn't help but think of a big juicy Porterhouse steak with slices of garlic and a drizzle of olive oil. It's really a shame not to have the food to go with the wine to further display the profiles of the various varietals and vintages, but I had to suffer through just rolling it down my mouth and into the wine keeper located between my rib cage.

We also tried a Chianti and then a Chianti Classico. What a world of difference even though it uses the same Sangiovese grapes and same first name. I can tell you not to order that Chianti in the cutesy little raffia decorated bottle but hey, you may want the bottle just to make a candle holder. So just pour out the wine (?) and stick in a candle. Serve the Chianti to your mother-in-law and you drink the Chianti Classico! Trust me on this. The first Chianti is a two pucker paint thinner. Have a problem cleaning your BBQ grill? Use that stuff.

Yesterday was also memorable. We had a taste of a really nice Moscato d'Asti [Muscat grapes]. It was a Frizzante, meaning it had a little zip of bubbly fizz to it. I really liked it even though it was white! It's a nice wine to take to a picnic on a sunny day (serve it cold). The flavor of the muscat grapes was really enchanting. Fruity, slightly sweet but so sunny and cheerful on the mouth. It felt like I swallowed Tinkerbell while picnic-ing with Peter Pan.

Tomorrow we are moving into the sacred land of the "Super Tuscan's". Some of the Tuscan Winemakers have a Devil May Care attitude about laws and regulations and make wines to suit themselves (bless their little hearts). Even though these great wines have a Grading of a mere Table Wine they will knock you off your table! Robust, hearty and unbelieveably round in the mouth. Yum (not a culinary term). I'll have to sneak in a T-bone steak or leg of lamb somehow to class. Those clever Italian winemakers add some Cabernet Savignon grapes to their flavorful Sangiovese grapes when making these wines. Its enough to make you want to move to Tuscany. Like I need a reason. Thank God for BevMo.

We really are treated to some excellent wines that would cost $60 retail and upwards of over $120-$200 in a restaurant per bottle. (getting some return on our tuition) Our instructor is a wine connoisseur and wine writer for The Connisseur's Guide to CA Wines, a monthly magazine. He is very informative and knows a vat full about wines.

We savored (I did at least) a Tignanello Super Tuscan today. Wow. I feel like I was introduced to a bad habit. This one can grow on your palate and deflate your wallet at the same time. It's a double hitter! Maybe more hits actually...

I was also impressed by a new kid on the block (for me) called an Amarone Valpolicella. I learned that these grapes get "rasinated" after picking to add more VAVOOM to the wine during fermentation. Rasinated is just what it sounds like. Most of the moisture is evaporated making the shrivelly little morsel even sweeter and stronger. This whole experience of the Amarone "raisinated" grape had me feeling like I ran into a old classmate from High School. You just have so much to catch up on, all night long. I definitely want to meet more family members named Amarone.

Its been a great day learning so much more than before and tasting so many varietals from different regions. The weeks not over yet! Hey, someone's gotta do it. Pick Me! Pick Me!!

Help, Stuck in Classroom!

This is week two of being inside a classroom with computers and chairs. My hip joints are beginning to complain about all this sitting down. I don't want them to memorize the shape of the chair. Maybe I could get a smaller chair. Humm, wonder if that would reduce the size...... oh, nevermind. Anyway, after sitting so long when I go to get up my legs and hips refuse to agree on how to manage this simple task and I stand in a sitting position and have to make deliberate steps to get the system back up and running (or walking in this case). I feel like a crooked stick figure trying to walk. I don't see them younger kids having this affliction.

Brats.

So here I sit blabbering on the blog when I need to focus on all the homework we have been given in our Culinary Management class. We are divided in teams - (I'll not rip apart my team as yet but I feel the train 'acomin') - and have to create an entire restaurant from the ground up to break even point. This involves a LOT of excel spreadsheet activity and math skills. Thus, my playing around here on the blog. I seriously dislike math but I know I need it. Okay, honestly? I HATE IT! Ahhh. That felt better. When you look up Math in the dictionary you'll see a picture of my head hitting a wall over and over.

I am starting on my Kitchen layout and trying to install the big ticket items and stuff it all in 700 sq. ft. It should be easy enough but somehow it isn't. I feel like I'm in a maze or stuck in a crop circle. Nothing makes sense. I created a menu and now were are working on the recipe cards which we will have to break down by the ingredients needed and the cost of those ingredients. Then we can add it to the spreadsheets to see if we're making money, charging to little/to much, ad nauseum. This goes on and on... Its mind boggling. I don't know how I'll do it if I keep sitting here writing about it. But this is so much more fun.

Oh no. I just remembered that I also have to create a menu - one that I would give customers, one that looks nice with borders and decorations and frilly shit. Oh boy, one more thing to do. Well this happy little face must take leave of the blogosphere and head back to brain mushing. Love to chat but gotta dash. Kiss-kiss.

2nd Place in the Thai Cooking Competition!

Yes, my team mate and I got second place in the competition along with 13 other teams. LOL The first place winners got an all expense paid trip to Thailand courtesy of the Royal Thai Government and week to cook with the Chef that visited our school to instruct us on the principals and food profiles/ingredients of authentic Thai foods.

It was a great experience! We had 15 clock hours of extra instruction, which means we started our normal Academy day at 7am and began Thai instruction after our day was over. The Chef gave lectures then demonstrated the methods and techniques of cooking and then actually cooked dishes for us to taste and after that we went to one of our Skills Kitchens to cook the dishes ourselves.

Last week was a long one that had me wondering why I signed up for it but in the end it was truly worth the extra effort and time. I had to cram in my new Culinary Management classwork and homework into the few hours I had left by the time I got back to the old tent I call home. Somehow in between I had to find time to shower, iron uniforms, shop for food, eat and try to renew my health insurance which is expiring at the...oh wait! It expired on the 31st of July! Opps. I missed that. Now I'm without health insurance. OMG. Guess I'll get on that next week. Some things slip through the cracks.

Our competition was interesting in that all 15 teams of two had to cook the very same thing with all the same ingredients. They came out pretty different dispite that oddity. We made Pad Thai Noodles with Pad Thai sauce. Spicy yet delicious. We had to cook over the wok burners which are 100,000 btu's worth of flame. I call them the Jet Engines. They are really powerful and HOT. They cook in seconds and burn in a hurry if you're too slow. The woks we use are entirely made of carbon steel, including the handles. Try to imagine how hot those handles get when it is all metal under 100,000BTU's of heat. Intense. The oil gets dangerously hot in about 5 seconds. Its fun. We quickly add all the ingredients one by one and then plate from the wok. One poor fellow burned himself today on the wok. I felt bad for him. That had to hurt. Someone else cut themselves with the knife. Two teams disqualified ASAP. That's all it takes.

I got a nice certificate for my efforts, made a new friend in my team mate, shared beers with class mates during our break, get to put this experience on my resume and I feel pretty good about myself. What a great day!

Rusted Caste Iron Chef

Somehow teh last too days of Asian cookin wur a stunnin, horibl, mess for me. Me needs to tink on it a lot. I hurt my head just tinking on it real gud.

Chef din like anyting I did xcept my plate wuz hot when I had to present my fud. I felled purty yucky.

On the other hand however, I thought it was a good plate and I think "someone" had a grudge against a strong-minded determined lady (who shall remain nameless) wink, wink...

Anyway, I'll never again make Burmese Fusion food. We all had to pick a sheet of paper that had the country on it and the protein we needed to cook with. A fun idea that crashed and burned all the way. What was that? You want to know what Burmese Fusion food is? SO DO I!

It was a futility in cooking Beef Hindu style (a country that don't eat beef). I think the chef picked a name from a pile of us students to pummel and I got the draw. Any normal student would have broke down and melted into the cement floor - but not hardheaded opinionated me. No sirree. I had to rebut his comments and actually explain why I did things my way. He din like dat. Sometimes I wish I could just zip my lip but the darn thing keeps flappin away when it gets all irritated.

So 20 minutes later I threw a twin set of 3 oz of filet mignons topped with a tarragon cayenne herbed butter in the garbage along with the side of mushrooms and onions sauted with a dash of oyster sauce, butter and wine, in addition to layers of sliced red potatoes sauted to a golden brown topped with a dash of sea salt and then a butter lettuce cup with frisee lettuce, blood orange, blanched asparagus and minced shallots covered with a sweet chili sauce mellowed with orange and lime juice. Directly in the Trash, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. The Chef had a monopoly on me. He won all the apartments and houses and my icon was the shoe that got booted. Waa. Whine. I think I'll buy him a little Chef Hat statue with "E Tu Brutal" engraved on it.

But, it is all now over. Next class is only two weeks long and is another computer/math thing called Culinary Management. Math is not my favorite subject so I expect I'll look for Motrin on sale somewhere. After that we have one week of Wine II. I think we learn how to pair wine with cheeses and such. No cooking for another 3 weeks. That means I can grow fingernails again. With so much to look forward to.... kidding.

Smile. Asian Class is Over

One more day of Asian food cooking and I'll be glad of the exit. What? Are you surprised? Yes, you should be and so am I. I loved it right up until we entered the world of Judge Judy with a Tall White Hat.

Something happened to the instructor at the very end when it came to the final days. I think we got on the dark side of the 28 day cycle. Period. (know what I mean? Come On!)

Outside I'm putting on my best faic (face) (not kidding anyone I'm sure since I wear my emotions on my epidermis) but inside I'm borderline serial with clever notions of what to do with a cleaver.

For now, I'll keep my "cat in the bag" until later when I have some time to pull this all together and get the story delivered in a non violent way. Right now, I need to study for my Asian Final tomorrow. Big day. I cannot wait until 12:01 pm tomorrow!!!! Court will be adjorned.

Call the Balif, I may not make it out without making some stupid remark. Geez I hate my big mouth sometimes.

Until the REAL post....I remain as always,

Your Crazy Lady

Yea Chinatown!

Tomorrow our class meets in Historic Chinatown to continue a day class walking around the shops, herbal stores and markets. I'm very pleased with this since our chef is Chinese and will be able to speak and ask our questions for us. Thus eliminating tedious hours spent in front of my computer taking various dialects of Chinese so I can find who has a good Peking Duck.

I'm also working on a school project that is backed by a scholarship, so that's been occupying a bit of my extra time. I'll be turning it in on Wednesday so I'll take some photos of it before delivering it to school officials. It's a a collage that is supposed to depict where we are now in our studies, where we will be soon and finally, our ultimate goals for entering the Academy. Mine is pretty busy, pretty complex. But then, my reasons are similar to them. Its been quite a lot of work and I've been very occupied with it but regardless of winning or losing, I've enjoyed doing it. It really has helped to get the mind focused. I haven't done such a creative project in a loooong long time.

This week is our last week of Asian Cuisine and the end of the week will be our "Iron Chef" cookoff as individuals. We pick lots to find out what proteins we get for that day and then we cook. Lots of student chefs, not enough burners or woks. Should be fun. NOT. Lol. I really think it will be interesting, so why not show up?!

Yeah. Anyway, gotta dash. Time for me to contemplate Chinatown. Ciao.

Yawn, Another Birthday Flies By

This year was a bust for the birthday. Had a head cold, didn't feel spunky, and really getting tired of these B-Days. Way too many of them now!

I'm hoping this head stuffage issue clears up soon as it is affecting my sense of humor gene. How funny is it to blow epidermis layers off the schnoze all day while trying to cook! Yeeeuuuck! Oh, and I just love the hacking attack during the Chef's lectures. I have to leave the room to spare my classmates and the Chef from my congested wheezing. Gettin' to be an ol' geezer like this.

I want it to go away so I can act silly and immature again. No one believes you when you've got a cold. You just can't be silly or immature with pockets full of kleenex and a hang dog look. Poo. Darn. Rats. I'll post when I'm more fun. Later.

Summer Breakage

I was off for summer break from school from my last post till Monday the 7th. I'll recap briefly.

Friday the 27th my friend Dee and her grandson Brennon (13) came to my school to take a tour since Brennon is VERY interested in becoming a chef. He's worked in several high end restaurants in Austin, TX, Newport Beach, CA and Santa Monica already! He's helped on events of 3,000 people too. He's amazing. Anyway, they came to tour and then inivited me to dinner that night. I had made reservations ONE MONTH ahead at this restaurant called Chez Panisse which is famous for their Chef Alice Waters and their farm fresh food delived daily. It was a real dining experience. Fresh figs on the salad with almonds and tomato toasts, ever so tender squid in a Romesco Sauce with grilled scallions, delictable rack and loin of lamb with wonderfully roasted potatoes, wild fennel and green beans and an apricot puff pastry tartin with a side of roasted cherries. A total Yum experience.

Tuesday July 1st I left for New York. I had two tickets to see the taping of the Iron Chef America!! Can you believe that?! I was pretty excited to say the least. My brother Randy lives there so I stayed with him and we had a good time getting around. We ate dinner in Little Italy on Mulberry Street (sooo Italian) Wednesday night and went to a well known place for drinks called The Modern. That was nice but lottsa walking.

Thursday was the taping so we headed back into Manhattan to the Food Network which is inside this huge building that houses a full on fresh fish market, an incredible vegetable market, lots of specialized markets where you can buy italian salamis, cheeses, sauces, etc. and just a jumble of other stores. I was blown away and could not leave unless I bought foods! I cooked dinner that night for Rand and a couple of his friends. It was fun. I made Chilean Sea Bass with a fresh fruit salsa and a nice salad with heirloom tomatoes, orange segments, avocados, jicicam and diced apple with an orange/lime dressing. It was so hot in NY that I wanted to keep it simple and not over taxing. I also made some brown rice. It was the perfect dinner.

Friday it rained so the Fireworks were a bust and Saturday I was headed back to San Fran. Our plane got diverted to Pittsburg PA when we had a medical emergency on board and had to make an unscheduled stop. That was interesting. Young guy too. Me thinks it was too much partying the night before. Ya know. I was just wondering if he would be geting a bill from United for the stop and extra gas. Whoo. I wouldn't want to see that tab! Plus, he'll get one from the ambulance in Pittsburg and maybe even the airport fire truck and ambulance. Gads. I hope his party was worth it.

So basically, I came home with a miserable head cold which still has me deep in kleenex. Its been a difficult one to get over. We started the Principals of Asian Cuisine Monday but I wasn't able to get near food for a few days and even still I can't taste anything. Bummer. Looks good though. I like the class. We have a Chinese Chef which makes decipering his words a bit challenging. I finally figured out that he says "presslice" which means priceless. Our syllabus is called syllabice. There's more, just to keep us paying attention. But that's for another blog posting.

For now, just wanted to catch you all up.