Brokeback Mountain of Cheese

Today I had to make 2 buffet style cheeseplates on deli mirrors. I had this great idea before I got started so I began building my platter. Chef strolled by, took a look and said "I'm going to show you how to make a platter. What you're doing here is not a cheeseplatter, its a sacrifice of good cheese!

I got over my feelings so I could concentrate on what Chef was trying to teach me. It was hella better. The overall final anlysis is that anyone ordering a $125 cheese platter doesn't want little cute cookie cutter rounds on little lace dollies. They want a lot of good cheese! Forget the dollies, forget the cuteness, forget the ladies Chardonnay luncheon plate. We need cheese for cheese hounds with big paws!!

While watching Chef instruct me and then showing him I was paying attention I grabbed the double handled cheese knive which is really like one of those logging saws that have both handles that two guys cut through trees with. I was bearing down on this wheel of hard cheese when I felt the bottom half of my back resolutely remaining solidly on the floor. What this created was a person such as myself being cut in half. Top going toward the push of my arms on the cheese, bottom half still not paying attention to the rest of the body so it was hanging out on the floor.

Big Mistake.

Instantly my eyes started watering uncontrollable from the sheer separation of my lower back from the rest of the crew of vertabrae. I had to dash for the pain med, the anti inflamatory meds, and the muscle relaxer. 1/2 hour later, after dabbing my eyes for 20 min. I was back on the job. Fortunately, I was able to finish class, deliver the platters (with a strong helper to carry) to the other classes and continue to complete Garde Manger.

I had to head to Butchery to begin my makeup of time lost due to the brokeback. I spent about 40 minutes tackling a whole section of beef loin so I could trim and slice over a dozen NY Steaks. They looked yummy. I had a small slice that I had to trim to even out the section and Chef let me take that home instead of using it for hamburger later.

Tonight I pan fried the little lovely with a bit of oil and spices over medium heat. After I removed it the pan was filled with little leavenings that are too attractive for a chef in training so I deglazed it with red wine until it was Au Sec (almost evaporated) then added about 1/2 Tbsp of butter to the pan and melted it and poured it over the little NY. I gotta say it was GOOD!

I had a real dinner here at Casa Oaisis a la Franklin. (sounds so classy that way). NOT

Well. F' it. I'm happy. I think I'll be good to get to class tomorrow. That's all that counts in my book. I love it there. Its my social life, my dream and my grocery store! What more could I ask for.

Can-a-Pees

Today in Chef Rob's Intro to Garde Manger class,
we all split up in teams of four to make various things. Our team had to create 75 canape's (small party size finger foods usually passed on a tray before everyone passes out!). No recipes, very little instruction - just go and do. I love the open creativity it allowed.

My partner and I made strawberry cream cheese on toast with garnishes of a thin grilled pineapple slice, a small wedge of strawberry, a blueberry all centered around a flower of procuitto ham held together by the base of the cream cheese blend. It was Dee-Lish. (gawd, I am so over Rachel Ray) Me and my teammate made about 75 of them. We also poached a dozen pears in wine and sugar with spices and brandy. When they cooled they were sooooo good. Very tasty. I'm obviously having fun. Or maybe its not so obvious but I AM!

My buddy Phillonious made a spectacular cheese plate on a huge catering mirror. I wish I had my cell phone to take a photo to paste on here today instead of the green veggy buttons above but we aren't allowed cell phones in class. Chef said today that tomorrow we can bring them only to photograph. I'll start logging all the stuff I make on my camera to start a portfolio of things I've made to put in a photo log when shopping around for Chef work.

My other teammate, Daralicia was busy secretely prepping liver for the last 2 days so that tomorrow Chef can demonstrate the wonder of making liver pate. When she mentioned that she put garlic in the mix for the liver she caught my attention so I anticipate the pate will be mouth watering. However, at 8-9am I still have a speedbump or two about eating liver pate. I won't even have time for a cup of tea before that. Isn't there some hard and fast rule about not eating Liver Pate until you've consumed a cup of tea/coffee? Please. Someone.

I'll just make sure I'm up to speed with my pain medication for my back by then.


Thursday after Garde Manger I'll back go to butchery and begin filleting flat fish like flounder, then later work on more red meat cuts, duck, chicken and sausage making. I have a lot of making up to do due to the loss of one week from a three week class. I need to bring my grade back up to acceptable. Nothing but an A is Acceptable for me!!

Chef Rob allowed us to bring in our own CD's so we can play music during production to further our appreciation of the experience. I brought in my favorite Rolling Stones (Strolling Bones) CD and since NO ONE else brought one in we listened to it for about 3 hours. HA One of my teammates didn't know I brought it in and said the music was PUTTING HER TO SLEEP!! WTF? The Stones putting you to sleep?? I must be getting old. Fortunately he put a caveat on the music situation. NO RAP. Thank you Baby Jesus.

Tomorrow I'll kick things up a notch with Mary J. Bilge (and get closer to my new xyz generation friends). Or maybe I'll be mean and bring in Barry White. HA I don't think I'd be able to concentrate. All that heavy breathing and sexy deep baritone begging and pleading... Wooo, it's gonna be hot in the kitchen tomorrow. The "kids" will kill me. Okay. So I'll bring in something closer to the 90's. ROTF. Most of them were only 10 years old then.

I think I can corrupt at least half of them. he-he....

Free Food!

Yeah!! In our Garde Manger (French translation: Protector of the food we eat. Literal translation: Don't let any food product go to waste, use it in other ways) we will be bringing a Lot of Food home. YES!

Today the Chef demo'd a fruit platter which was really beautiful. I want to do one right now but I've got no one here to impress. Then another Chef demo'd a cheese platter. That was just what I needed. Lots of yummy calcium. I got a lot of various cheese calcium samples. Does the body good.

Tomorow we will do canape's and make sushi. We can take home all we want. This is way better than butchery! This might be one of those classes where I tend to put on lbs rather than lose them. Butchery was good for losing. I'm on a roll here and would hope that I resist the temptation to eat all the displays. Fun. (and nutritious)

I'm really tired since this was my first full day back at school. I'll like this class. Being back in a kitchen makes me happy. Gawd I love those big gas stoves!

Going to sleep early tonight. That 5am alarm is wicked bad. But its so cold in the room I have to wake early to turn up the heat and put on the heated back pac so I can just move without jerking.

This is sure a boring post huh. I think my sense of humor fell asleep. Gotta go find it. Ta-ta.

The Good and Bad and the Rain

I've been trying to recover from my back troubles for a couple of weeks now to the degree that I effectively missed a week of a 3 week course in butchery. That's bad. Butcher Bob however agreed that I could come in this past Friday to take the Final test and remake up some time in the next two weeks over at the south campus. That's good. A big break or I'd have a lousy grade after my 4.0 six weeks in Basic Skills.

I learned how to de-bone a whole chicken leaving it whole with skin attached for stuffing and reshaping back into a chicken shape. I'll have to try that if I ever get a stove or oven again. I learned how to clean squid, messy but easy. Calamari here I come. Then I learned how to play busy my last day so I didn't have to debone a whole pork butt. I have my standards! Just kidding. It looked like way too much work for a gal whose percodan was wearing off much too soon.

I was able to get up and shuffling around the grocery store during a break in the weather today to stock up on foods for the next week, if not I'd have to suffer with the stuff I can find at the local liquor store like wrinkly cucumbers (in January?) hard avocados, brown bananas.... you get the picture. I'd probably check the expiration date on a can of spam (do they have expiration dates even?). That'd be bad.

I walked to Walgrens and the mail box to send out my bills for exercise and after that it was Home James! Meds, hot pacs and novel. That was good.

Its raining again now at this late hour and I'm still awake. That's bad. But tomorrow is Sunday and more rest - way good. And most likely more rain tomorrow.

I begin my introductory class of Garde Manger Monday at the South Campus 7am sharp which means I must wake at 5am. Bad. Real Bad. Garde Manger is where we deal with cold foods like different salads, pates, forced meats, cold cuts, aspics and the like. Nothing there I'd eat unless it was Goose Liver Pate. Now, that's GOOD! I'm not up to eating salads at 9am in 45 degree weather. We'll also learn how to carve up fruits and veggies and make cheese platters. I know all this because in Skills class all the other classes brought us foods from their classes. Garde Manger was not my favorite. Bakery was good, sometimes too good.

Somehow I'll manage to finish this course and get my Chef degree! Back or no back. Oh, wait...

Time to start another novel. I get so silly when I'm tired.

To The Bat Cave Batman!!

Still lying low. Horizontal is the name of the game for this week. My goal is to do very little so that I'm healed by the end of this week and get my game on for my new class at CCA. I'm not sure what I'll head into next but it's certain I will have to redo Butchery. Good old Butcher Bob has not seen the last of me yet.

Being in ICU at 12 Robert isn't such a bad deal. The food is way better than Peninsula Hosp (my other option) and I have such a wonderful nurse, Nurse Alice who takes good care of me. She's like the Mary Poppins of the medical team. The resident Doctor is called Doctor John. Not much in bedside manner but he takes care of his charges. Bluntly. Think a warm Captain Bly.

The orderly is a very humorous fellow who shows up with a smile and a quick laugh no matter what Dr. John Bly does. Lights out at 9pm. No heat after 10pm. Coffee on at 6 am. Still that nice orderly Guy manages a joke or two. What a nice Guy.

I was able to make my own breakfast today but after standing for a half hour I had to retreat back to the Back Cave. Cave Room 12 A at Robert Place Hospital. If you want to talk to me and call here you'll have to go through Dr. J. Bly who screens all calls. Good Luck. I'll call you.

Its raining here all week so its kinda nice to listen to the rain, take my meds, zone out, feel no pain. But I'd rather be back in school. Really. I'm having a cooking jones. I'm going to look for a good acupuncturist in China Town when I get better. I believe in getting stuck with needles all over my body just to feel good. Once they take them out, believe me, you DO feel better! HA

See ya in Rehab.

Life Gets Hard Then Your Back Goes Out!

I missed two days of class this week and I am NOT happy. Neither is the Patron Saint of Casseroles. Here she is probably getting ready to slap me upside the head for missing kitchen lectures and gruesome flesh slashing!

Once again, like clockwork, my darn back went out last Sunday. I wasn't jumping from tall buildings with a single bound, I wasn't stopping a train in its tracks, and wasn't even catching bullets with my bare hand. I was just walking. That's all. Just walking. I probably took a curb to jauntilly, or my brisk walk was too uneven or maybe I was taking too long of a stride with my left leg when my right arm was swinging too wide. Whatever. Life sucks really easy.

I could not get out of bed Monday, therefore I missed a day of butchery. I managed to walk (? more like hunched over and shuffling) to school Tuesday and Wednesday for lecture but not partaking of the hacking and mauling apart of our storehouse of dead carcasses. I tried to see how long I could last on Wednesday and made it till 11:20 when I dropped my knife and as it was heading for the end of the table in front of me I tried to stop it. Quickly. Much to quickly. I had to explain to the students that the scream was NOT from the dead chicken.

I could not make it in again on Friday. Thankfully, the powers that be (or maybe Saint Out-of-Your-Reach-Favors decided Monday as a holiday and I can take 4 days to lay flat on my back doing NOTHING. I must get well. Butchery ends next week.

Last week I was a hell raisin' hooligan and this week its pure hell if I try and raise anything!

Donations accepted for the Pity Party.

1st Week of Butchery is OVER!!!

I am sooooo Toast!

Pooped, Tired, and Achey everywhere. I'm glad there's one week under the belt.

Two more weeks to go. This is one tough class. Its just scarey using greasy, slippery razor sharp knives for 3-4 hours on Pork, Veal, Lamb, Beef and Fish. Its bloody hard work. Literally!

We've had a few finger fatalities so far. I just gotta be careful. I like all my digits intact.

Y'all have a great weekend. I'll be trying to get red stains out of white uniforms. Yawn.....gotta go.

Teaming Up and Frenching in Butchery!

After two grueling days working on "frenching" 8 racks of pork and 24 racks of lamb I don't think I'll ever french with any animal again. By far, the pork rack was hardest but then again it was only 2 per person with 4 in our team.

On Tuesday Chef Bob split 11 of us up in teams of 4, 4, and 3. I was in a 4 person team with my favorite friend Nicole, Mikey and Ed. The guys worked together and Nicole and I tittered and gossiped all the while we mangled a couple of nice racks of pork. The gossip was the best part.

The second team did a mountain of Chickens in various cuts and the third team did Salmon. Big ones and lots of them.

Today, the Red Meat team (that's us this week) got to tackle 24 racks of Lamb!! OMG. We frenched the meat to the bones as required but I think my fingers got frenched too. They feel like it, especially my thumbs. Ouch. We even use our fingernails to get stuff off when the knives can't get to the thin ligament holding the meat to the bones. This truely and cruely is mindnumbing work. However, you are constantly on edge NOT to slice through your own finger bones. After working a few racks our hands get greasy and slippery. That's when the knife wants to slip down your hand. Note to Self: Do Not Daydream When Frenching.

There were several misses amoung us all. More so than skills class I think. Maybe not. It does require Skill.

Tomorrow sounds like a walk in the park as we get to cut New York Steaks. Somehow, I'm sure Chef Bob will make it harder than we think it will be.

Next week we switch to either Chicken or Fish. Likewise for the others. I dread the fish section since my aprons and towels still reek of fish from Monday's Sea Bass torture.

The only certainty is that after class is over I'm completely exhausted. We are standing in place for at least 3 hours working our fingers to the bone (pun intended). Butchery is serious stuff. Thank goodness its not on my list of most wanted jobs after graduation. Think of it like this; its a cold refrigerated kitchen, smells like death, is greasy, bloody, gets under your nails, in your hair (scaling the fish), and then you take a break to go eat something! Its like Animal CSI.

Well, that's it for now. Gotta get off my post and get something to eat. heh, heh, heh......

Bob's Big Boy Please

Today was good. We had our chef, Chef Bob, who is a NO NONSENSE chef. We get 300 points to get an A in class which means that if we're late to class we get knocked off 20 pts. right off the top. If my chin hair shows there goes another 15 pts. Our only test is a written test of 25 questions at the end of 3 weeks. We get 100 points for that. Our production (cutting, slashing, mauling and mangling) of product gets us another 125 points if we get it all right.

We get 75 pts for professionalism (coming to class in the proper CLEAN uniform) and ABSOLUTELY no swearing in class or we have to leave the kitchen for a certain amount of time and Chef B will decide then you have to come back in and apologize to the whole class and the chef. I had to ask him if he considered the word Smart Ass a swear word and he said no cuz I'm always calling the guys a smartass when they joke around with me. So I'm good. I think I may be able to go 3 weeks without a swear word unless I cut myself, then I'll seriously flunk.

Chef Bob demonstrated 5 whole chickens today and all the cuts we can make from them. I can't even count them all. Everything from drummetts to butterflied boneless, skinless chicken breasts. We have to do this all tomorrow. $&^@! I'm thinking raw shredded chicken should be considered a cut starting tomorrow.

I mean he took a chicken leg and thigh and deboned it almost to the end of the leg while the other part was left whole. Its cool, cuz then you can stuff it with stuff but I don't think its going to be easy. I'll stuff mine with swear words.

He says his final is hard b/c you either write out the right answer or you don't know what you're talking about and you get a zero on it. No multible questions or mix and match. We answer by writing everything down. He say he had a class once of 25 chefs and only 1 (woman) got an A and she was a VEGAN!!! Friggin' vegans. (note no actual swear word? I'm practicing)

Other than that, he seems nice with a glimmer of a sense of humor. I wore my long johns under my uniform today and was fine but after class I was dying of heat. I'll have to switch to Short Jimmy's and toss the Long Johns. At least I can walk without having to drag my red carry on with all my clothes in it. I can walk in my uniform since I'm closer to the Old or North Campus.

We don't have any reading to do in his class which is nice. No daily quizzes either. It'll be a quick 3 weeks. It was good to see all my classmates again. We are all a good team together.

I'm getting used to the panhandlers and the street sleepers. Everyone behaves somewhat. Today some crazy old lady followed me into my hotel and started blabbering jiberish to me (again) while I was waiting for the elevator and I finally just said "why don't you go outside, its such a nice day". Geez. Last time she was certain I was the mother of some girl in some blah, blah, blah... Some guy asked me for change last week and I said I was just about to ask him for money so we're both screwed.

Next time I'm at Starbucks I'll have to ask for a Decaf-Mocha-Vodka-Valium to go. Please. (thnx Mum, I love my card sayings)

Ready to Start Classes Again!!

I'm heading into Butchery for 3 weeks, 5 hours a day. Should be FUN. I'll learn how to dress a fish (pink or blue Tutu with tights?), learn to cut beef, pork, chicken and even completely debone the chicken leaving in it place to stuff it to look like a chicken... why? because we can.

The Chef is a very serious man who looks like he'll brook no jokes, fun or laughter. It'll be a tough class for me to deal with. Maybe by the end of the class I'll get a smile or smirk from him. Its on my to-do list now.

I'll be glad to get back on a set schedule. It keeps me in place and oriented. Otherwise, I do silly things like take weird photos with my cousin Guy on his new IMac computer. This one is my favorite. Oh my did we laugh and laugh New Years Eve. He and I totally had a ball screwing our faces up with his new toy. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I hope you enjoy my photo too! Live and Laugh Long. Yeah!

Goodbye 2007!!

I'm glad to see it go. It gave me a couple of 360's but I landed on my feet again (as brother Brian always says). Let me count the ways...

The Law Firm I worked for was sold to another firm that had their own Office Mangler so I was out of a job January 31st but they kept me on the payroll until Feb. 28 at which time I got a 3 month severance check.

I had a 7 day April Mexican cruise planned and paid for since September '06 with my dearest best friend Eleanor. I wasn't going to miss it. We had the best of time for 7 days on the Abraham-Hicks seminar cruise. It's a positive thinking type of inspirational concepts. You can find them at http://www.abraham-hicks.com/ . I was inspired and, as always, enjoyed the company of Eleanor.

My brother Dana was diagnosed with cancer in '06 and was ebbing away to nothing. He stayed a few days in April with me so we could spend time together. He bought me a microwave and a DVD player. It was good to spend the time but painful to deal with.

May brought my brother Brian's 3 day birthday bash in Oxnard with families and friends galore. We all had a terrific time. Pam, his wife put the whole thing together which in itself was a feat to overcome. She did a fantastic job.

All the while since February I'd been searching and interviewing for jobs which continued to be a series of disappointments. Thank goodness for Abraham-Hicks!

Also in May around Mother's Day my sweet big baby cat Mac died. We were buddies for 15 years. He had a cancerous tumor in his mouth. I was devastated and indeed alone. I started wondering what I would do with my life when I considered going to school to be a Chef. It seemed an option I would never had done if Mac was still alive. It was a turning point in my life.

My husband and I had separated in '06 but were still trying to work things out. He took a motorcycle trip up to Mt. Shasta to see his niece and her family when on the return trip was run off the road by a big truck and when over the embankment totaling his Harley and messing up his back. He made it back home via airline and eventually bought another Harley. Why would he want a do-over?!

June 1st was Aunt Alice's birthday so I flew to San Francisco to attend the auspicious event. Uncle John rented a limo and cousin's Paul, Guy, myself and Auntie and Unc went to the Top of the Mark for drinks and a fantastic view of downtown SF then dinner at Scoma's. The dinner was incredible and lots of laughs.

I decided to search out a cooking academy in Sarasota, Fla mid June and went by way of Jacksonville so I could spend serious good time with my Aunt Gloria (2 years older than me, we're more like sisters). I didn't care for the University Academy so I was still searching. I checked out two places in Los Angeles but it didn't ring my bells so to speak.

In July Kermit moved up to Mt. Shasta and I finished up paperwork with the courts. A sad ending and goodbye.

I also I took another trip to SF to check out the Ca Culinary Academy. That rang my bells! I filled out my application and made my plans. The end of July was a family reunion party of two dear friends Cher and Joe in Chicago. My last minute decision to go was a good one. I loved spending time together with them and meeting all their families and friends.

At some point around this time my brother Dana called to let me know that he was CANCER FREE!! The Chemo really worked. It is nothing short of a miracle. He has only half his stomach and part of his esophagus but its gone! Wow. Definitly Good News.

September and October was spent tying up loose ends, getting rid of unnecessary items held over the years and planning my move.

I moved October 27th to San Francisco (Home!) and began Culinary Academy November 12th.
I completed my first 6 weeks of training and by December 21st got 2 weeks of Winter Break. Christmas and New Years Eve with the "family".

Here I am on January 1st anticipating the next year of culinary schooling. I love it. So much has gone on to get me to this point. I made it.

Amazing. Happy New Year to you all!