Like any college environment, cooking school had its little silly 'frat jokes', its just that our pranks are food related. The only danger is to your ego. I'll miss some of these if just for their entertaining value.

Often when beginning a new 3 week class we would find 'new' students among us. Like little sea creatures that beached themselves. Some we liked and would help back to the sea of life making friends of them along the way; while others found themselves amid hostile islanders with sharp-tounged instruments.

It was difficult for anyone new coming into a class that had been forged together since day one without them feeling like they were an outsider. Our group fortunately held together as best as possible pretty well with only 55% fallout. That's actually a good number. Other classes were not as lucky as our class and had lost even more. The splintered groups or remianing individuals would then be blended with another class when efficiency required. While it may have served the Academy it wasn't a dream move for the stray sheep.

Teams were made and wasted by the injection of someone no one seemed to find acceptable. As a rule, most new-comers were there because they failed a previous class once or twice and were required to re-do it. Those of us who showed up everyday and worked hard didn't care for the lack of work ethic which, on average, never improved anyway. Neither did their cooperation or utter lack of even simple culinary knowledge.

To these misfits we would initially send them on a quest to find a little known magical kitchen tool, or better said, "imaginary tool". When we were elbows deep in slimy goo we would find the nearest slacker and ask if they could please get the: Rice Peeler; Orriechette Imprint Stamp; Get me a Sprig of Walnut; and finally, after several failed searches, simply ask them to help set up the Voice Activated Credit Card Machine. By then, even the most tatoo'd knew where they stood with our class. Brother Phil was a big promoter of the infamous rice peeler and VM CC machine. He's a funny guy. I'll bet he's still thinking of when he can ask a newer intern than him where these toys are out in Colorado where he is interning. A leopard doesn't change its spots.

You'd be surprised how long it could take a slacker to find non existant items and still pass a class.

Sadly, I say goodbye to the fun of watching blank faces searching in vain for the Holy Kitchen Grails. Ha Ha Ha.

Where In The World Is Waldo (and Debra)?

Word was that I've been reported missing in the blogsphere; but I am now found. I stepped away for a while to do some life patching. Something like making a quilt, only a bit more difficult. Ripping out threads that have needed redoing and finding some cheeryier fabric to continue on with. I'm in a renewing process and just hope my ol'machine doesn't deconstruct. You don't wanna mess with cranky old machines - they have a life of their own sometimes.

Enough obteuse-ness. (is that a real word for Scrabble?) Anyway, I'm in my LAST FOUR DAYS of school!! I CANNOT believe it. One whole year has passed and I feel each and every sidewalk crack for it. Its been a fun year getting to know my classmates and working in so many kitchens for so many chefs; its been a most difficult year dealing with the loss of my previous life and family connections and some serious health issues; its been a blessed year just because I'm here writing about it and because I have a very dear family here close by who have helped me so much; and its been a huge one for the passing of my dad. All in one year. I'll call this One Year of a Soup with many ingredients.

During these last four days we are in our Restaurant Production class. Today we had our Mystery Basket competency, which is a menu that the Chef picks for us to cook within a certain time frame. If you forgot how to make something basically you were hosed. Chef separated our class in half (since our class is now only 6 or 7 students) and the first group made their menu while the rest of us prepped for a Huge Buffet that the school is hosting tomorrow for San Francisco's Political Finest (is that a Scrabble word? Nah, no such thing) for Election Day. We will have about 150 persons or resonable facsimiles of them.

Basically, we rummaged through our Walk-In Refrigerator, which is close to half the size of my entire dwelling. Anything was game ('scuse the pun) for cooking. There are lots of veggies I hope we have a heavy sauce for since they have passed some prime time in the fridge. It was a day of repetitive work. I personally took all the hard cheese pieces, portions and bits and shredded them all. My right hand thumb is still angry with me for having to hold onto little pieces of hard cheese and shredding them and my fingers in the process. Ouch.

During the second half of the morning the other half of our class had to make our mystery menu. The second half was Sommer, Phil and myself and we all had the same menu to make. We had a Mushroom Risotto to present at 11:30; an Apple, Nuts and Greens salad with a vinigarette dressing set for 11:45; then we had to make a steak, pommes frites (french fries), mayonnaise side with some zucchini that were "tourned". We all came up with pretty much almost the same presentations which was kind of odd. Even our garnishes. Sommer's risotto was the winner, Phil's salad got the medal and my steak and fries were killer. I was happy. Can't win them all but at least I was in the running.


I'm going to miss my classmates and working in the kitchens. But I am looking forward to working at the San Francisco Chronicle in the Food and Wine department! I can't wait to start writing articles and working with food and wine pairings. I've got my hopes pinned on doing some restaurant reviews too. That would be FUN! But, I don't know if they will give that position to an intern... We'll see. Wish me luck!

4 More Days. Much better than 4 More Years of the present Administration! Go out and Vote tomorrow!!!!