I'll Have a Slice of Life Pie, Please

Thanksgiving Day fell on my dearly loved Grandmother's birthday this year. She was all of 96 years yesterday! She's still getting around on her own, living in her own home, having ups and downs but still moving forward.

She tells us she can't really taste her food anymore, everything pretty much tastes the same. She can't hear us very well either, so we have to speak REAL LOUD close to her ear. But she sits there and eats with us and watches us talk, eat, laugh, and laugh some more.

Grandma had a loving audience of 3 of her daughters, Rachel (in orange), Alicia (in the middle) and Grace (at the far end).

Grandma's dearly loved son-in-law, my Uncle John (aka Papa John) was chief Carving Master for the turkey; grandson's Paul and Guy, were present for wit and wisdom and myself, her first granddaughter watching her watch us.

My Aunt Rachel did all the cooking for us, and did an excellent job too! She brined the turkey and it came out with a beautifully tanned skin, extra crispy, and a moist, meaty, plump and juicy interior. Nice Job. All the usual comfort foods were in attendance as well with a real nice giblet gravey.

Everyone did their best to pitch-in and make the afternoon come together as one happy occasion, which it was. I think Grandma had a very wonderful birthday. We brought out the cake, sang the birthday song while her daughter Gloria was calling in from Florida, singing along. It was so cute to see our little "Princessa" cutting her cake and talking on the phone. So 2008!

After the cake ceremony we all settled down to a game of Taboo. We aren't much on reading directions on packages but we are great at listening to the directions of others telling us how to play. (as it turns out, I saw 4 Christmas's today and we were playing it wrong!). Regardless, we had so much fun bungling things up nobody really cared.

It was a family evening together that I haven't experienced in a long time. It was fun! Everyone got along, everyone was happy and everyone wanted to play the game. No Poop-Heads! Yea!

It was a great day of Thanksgiving for everyone I think. Perhaps not the turkey but he was greatly appreciated nevertheless and was almost the center of attention for most of the day!

We set a nice little table for him too. God Bless you Tiny Tim the Turkey.

Hoping everyone had a Thanksgiving was just as lovely in it's own way.

SPAM - Stuff Posing as Meat

What with all the upcoming holiday cooking to be done, I got to thinking about SPAM as a food product. In my research I was surprised to know that the United States is the largest consumer of SPAM! I have personally Never eaten it nor do I know of anyone who has, yet this ‘meatloaf with no training’ is consumed in huge quantities in my own country. It is also known as ‘ham that failed its physical.’

According to Hormel’s trademark guidelines SPAM should be spelled with all capital letters and treated as an adjective! HA. Boy do I have a few adjectives to throw at Hormel. ‘Hideous’ is the first that comes to mind closely followed by ‘Questionable’ and ‘Gut-Wrenching’.

Many questioned the naming of the product. Why S-P-A-M? Did it mean Something Posing as Meat? Or, Stuff, Pork and Ham? Or how about Spare Parts Animal Meats? No one knows.

I also found out that there are 12 varieties of SPAM sold. TWELVE!! SPAM Classic wasn’t enough, they went and made stuff called “SPAM, Less Sodium” like you’re eating this meat posing product and you’re worried about your salt intake?? Then there’s SPAM Singles. This would be the one to eat if you want to eliminate your social life. Where is this stuff? I’ve Never seen it in a store here in California or any store I’ve ever been to.

Apparently SPAM is very popular in Hawaii. I think people in the Mainland think of SPAM as Poor People’s Meat Product but being heavily consumed in Hawaii I guess SPAM is considered a good thing. Therefore, other canned food meat such as Treet or SMEAT is considered Poor Peoples SPAM. I guess.

In keeping to that line of thought maybe we need to rename some of the less desirable neighborhoods, like where I live in the Tenderloin, and call it the Spam Valley neighborhood. I like that name better.

Some other ideas came to mind. If SPAM is so darn popular and it is a world-wide phenomenon then let’s have an Iron Chef edition with SPAM! I can see it now. Chef Bobby Flay will make an Escargot and SPAM Omelete – a fancy version of the Slow Food Movement. Then one of the competing Chefs will try and kick it up a notch and make SPAM Confit! That is SPAM slow cooked, completely submerged in duck fat.

I think you may be able to buy a can or two as stocking stuffer’s this year. What a Treet. That and a nice jar of pickeled pig’s feet and you’re set. Okay, splurge and throw in a bottle of Okra Chutney.

I even found a recipe for SPAM Upside Down Cake! It was from 1945. You line an 8 inch ring mold with SPAM slices and fill it with boxed bisquit dough laced with tiny cubes of more spam. Bake at 425° for 40-45 minutes, cool and serve. The recipe suggests filling the center with a nice tart cheesey sauce [emphasis on cheesey].

I found that there are SPAM lovers in almost every country in the world! Who Knew?! I am completely amazed. This important food immigrates faster than a few of my former husbands.

I Want a Do-Over!!

This is a picture perfect day in San Fran. Blue skies, cool weather (my favorite) and I am sitting here wishing I could be going to Forbes Island again for dinner with my pals Cher and Joe! Oh I miss those two.

We had such a terrific time together that October night. The restaurant is so very cool too. Joe got such a kick out of all the seals and sea lions basking on the pier, and Cher jumped in her seat when she caught a glimpse of a fish swimming by the port hole.

We all had a fantastic dinner experience but the company was priceless! I want a do-over with my buddies from Chicago. Maybe I should have some cheese to go with my whine.

Like any college environment, cooking school had its little silly 'frat jokes', its just that our pranks are food related. The only danger is to your ego. I'll miss some of these if just for their entertaining value.

Often when beginning a new 3 week class we would find 'new' students among us. Like little sea creatures that beached themselves. Some we liked and would help back to the sea of life making friends of them along the way; while others found themselves amid hostile islanders with sharp-tounged instruments.

It was difficult for anyone new coming into a class that had been forged together since day one without them feeling like they were an outsider. Our group fortunately held together as best as possible pretty well with only 55% fallout. That's actually a good number. Other classes were not as lucky as our class and had lost even more. The splintered groups or remianing individuals would then be blended with another class when efficiency required. While it may have served the Academy it wasn't a dream move for the stray sheep.

Teams were made and wasted by the injection of someone no one seemed to find acceptable. As a rule, most new-comers were there because they failed a previous class once or twice and were required to re-do it. Those of us who showed up everyday and worked hard didn't care for the lack of work ethic which, on average, never improved anyway. Neither did their cooperation or utter lack of even simple culinary knowledge.

To these misfits we would initially send them on a quest to find a little known magical kitchen tool, or better said, "imaginary tool". When we were elbows deep in slimy goo we would find the nearest slacker and ask if they could please get the: Rice Peeler; Orriechette Imprint Stamp; Get me a Sprig of Walnut; and finally, after several failed searches, simply ask them to help set up the Voice Activated Credit Card Machine. By then, even the most tatoo'd knew where they stood with our class. Brother Phil was a big promoter of the infamous rice peeler and VM CC machine. He's a funny guy. I'll bet he's still thinking of when he can ask a newer intern than him where these toys are out in Colorado where he is interning. A leopard doesn't change its spots.

You'd be surprised how long it could take a slacker to find non existant items and still pass a class.

Sadly, I say goodbye to the fun of watching blank faces searching in vain for the Holy Kitchen Grails. Ha Ha Ha.

Want to Put a Glo on Your Face?

This is my post for saving you some money during these difficult financial times. I'm in a do-gooder mood. I'm sharing with you my recipe for a healthy, nutritious, easy, speasy dinner for the coming winter months while saving you money. Think of it as my early Holiday Present to you all.

I'm sure that most of you college-educated types have done this in your dorms before. I don't claim any rights to anything here except that I have a blog that I'm posting it to.

I have Top Ramen noodles that I buy by the dozen for like a dollar. That's good. I then buy some chicken stock in bulk, which you can find deals on at this time of the year to save $. Depending on your vegetable preferences and amount of times you expect to be eating this Soup buy your appropriate amount of seasonal fresh vegetables to blend in the soup. I'll often buy a chicken thigh with the skin and bone in for the extra flavor it provides and it has cost me about $1.05 here in the City per thigh and to give me the daily portion of protein I need.

I heat up my electric burner, put the pot and stock on to heat, add the chicken to boil and simmer cooking for at least 25 minutes. I'll remove the thigh, debone it and remove the skin and toss and chop up the meat to re-add. In the meantime, I add the longer cooking veggies first like carrots, brussel sprouts, broccoli, califlower etc. and let them cook for about 5 minutes. Then I'll add the next batch of veggies like a squash, green onions, garlic, and Ramen Noodles without the spice pack. I'll let them cook for about 2 minutes then for the last minute I'll add the delicate stuff like spinach or other quick cooking leafy greens and chopped tomatoes if I'm in the mood.

When this is all done I pour it in a big bowl and dinner is served! I may add hot sauce (mexican style) or not. Its all up to you. I love this soup so much that I can practically eat it 3-4 nights a week! Not just because its Cheap!

I hope you like my little $ saver. It works, tastes good, is healthy, and inexpensive. What more could we want before the holidays? OH YEAH! Its LOW IN CALORIES!!!!!! Am I just cool or what?! The whole package here. Enjoy.

I Feel FUNNY Coming On

Of course I may be wrong. Like when someone feels they're coming down with a cold but don't. I've been working on a little research project for my blog and it has taken a life of its own. I may have to do it in parts. I think it is humorous but then I thought my brother getting hit in the head with a bat was funny too once.

Either way, I'll publish it because I've lost all sense of write and wrung. I hope to get it uploaded soon. Please check back. You can always leave your comments on the "hit or miss" of the project. I need feedback since I really care about your opinion. No, really.

It is food related. Afterall that's why I went into some serious debt this last year so that I could at least pontificate with an astounding lack of impressive credentials for Blog Writing. I feel that I should start at the bottom of the food chain now and work my way up in my next lifetime.

So please check back to see where all my therapy dollars also went.

The List of the Good and Bad

Good Things About Not Being in School Anymore

No More Fire Drills

Got Rid of the Cement Weight Kitchen Shoes

No More Running for the Free Shuttle

No More 5:30am Wake Ups

Threw Out the Commis Cap (really stupid hat)

My feet are showing signs of life

No need to carry around the 20 lb knife and tool bag

No more being stuck with teams that don't work out

Sad Things About Not Being in School Anymore

No More Free Food

No More Meeting at Dos Pinas for $10 Corona Buckets on Friday's

No More Teaming Up with Teams that Work

Having to Take the City Bus and Pay

My Butt is Losing Feeling from Sitting a Lot

Still No Kitchen to Use the Knives and Tools in

A Lot More Real Life Stress

No More Counting on the Chef's for the Answers

Everyone's Gone....

Week Two Ahead

Well, I finished my first week at the Chronicle and it was indeed interesting. They are so busy with the upcoming holidays that I'm learning by default. The best thing I liked about last week was "family meal" which comes each Thursday. On Thursdays we cook many recipes, the interns and the staff, and at 1:30 we set up a buffet in the kitchen and we all eat together in the large conference room.

They talk shop, which is very interesting for me as a newbie, we eat, sample wines that were tested that week (tiny amounts) and just become human together. It was quite nice to see and be a part of. I'm looking forward to family meal this week as well. As long as turkey is not on the menu!

Turkey or Bust!

OMG! We have been testing several turkey recipes these last few days at the Chronicles test kitchen in time for Thanksgiving. I may just bring my own hot dog and peanut butter to this year's holiday dinner. I don't think; scratch that; I KNOW I can not eat another piece of Turkey for another year.

I wish that bird would just grow feathers and fly the coup.

However, the good side was that I got to do some food styling today for which I will actually get dollars for the effort. Yea Me. One was a piece of cheese (hey, we gotta start small right) that was featured with in the Wine Section and then this evening I put together a plate of a traditional Turkey dinner. I got to work with the photographer on that one. He is a very nice guy. He really made me feel welcomed and not like the newbie I am. Thanks Craig.

One of my other tasks is pouring out all the wine that was tested for the Wine Tasting on Wednesday. That was somber duty. Amen.

I tossed 51 bottles of champagne. That's right. Fifty-one. Then I tossed the countless bottles of Red and White. I felt like I just ended a bad wedding. At a good wedding there are empty bottles. Of course it is best to do this task first thing in the morning since one does not feel the temptation one might at say, 7pm. I don't own a Boda Bag. Yet.

I'm coming up to my First Week at the Chronicle! 11 more weeks to go then its "kick her to the streets" (as agreed). I'm busy at night thinking on what the next path will be.

Life is quite the adventure. Bon Voyage.

Cooking for the Chronicle

Today was my first day at the San Francisco Chronicle's Food and Wine Department. It was a cool morning but well past my usual 5:30am wake up. I boarded the Muni bus in nice weather for my short ride to Market Street and 5th then proceeded to walk the remaining few blocks to the Chronicle.

I have come to find out that the F&W dept. don't get in on Monday's until around 10ish (insert smile here). My regular hours are 9:30 till 5pm (ditto the smile here). Once everyone was in and settled I got to my first assignment of cooking turkey legs and breast's confit; meaning cooking the legs submerged in duck fat for 3 hours and the breasts to 135 internal temp then letting it sit in the confit another 20 minutes. I cleaned and prepped the turkey, cut it up, took out the wishbone and got things going.

Well, it turned out the breast recipe didn't cook well enough at 135 degrees so next time it should be about 150ish then let it sit. We need to follow directions explictly at first then make our notations for any changes after.

Next on the list was Cardamom Ice Cream. I love the smell of cardamom seed pods. They are so aromatic. The ice cream was a slice of heaven when it was done. Tomorrow I'll be making pumpkin pies to go with it. Yummm.

There were a lot of dishes, pots, pans and cleanup but it was so pleasant working in a kitchen that is more like a home style kitchen than the big monsters I was used to at school. There is another student from the CCA there too. I know her from our Newspaper Club at CCA so that was nice to see a familar face. The gal who oversees me is also a CCA grad. The three of us were sharing the kitchen today cooking up individual recipes the writers are doing articles on. When we are done cooking we all taste test them, make any corrections and possibly re-do the recipe tomorrow.

I got my security pass and internet access late today so tomorrow I'm set to go. The ride home on the muni was fine and quick. It's a bit crowded but it sure saves on parking. Since this is an internship there is no pay so I must find ways to save, save, save. Gotta make it through the end of January at this gig to get my Cordon Bleu certificate. In the meantime, I need to get started on trying to find a "real" job. Yikes...

I feel like I'm stuck on Disneyland's "Mr. Toad's Wild Ride". Scary.

Chef Patrick's Secret!

Our humungeous Political Luncheon on Election Day was such a hit it made several San Fran political blogs such as www.sfbg.com/blogs/politics/2008/11/election_day_luncheon_in_sf.html and www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/11/04/BAGO13TUEL.DTL

Former Mayor Willie Brown was there as well as U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein and Attorney General Jerry Brown.

They gave their accolades to our School President, Jennifer White and she in turn came to give all 7 of us tattered and used up zombies her praise. It meant a lot. Pretty cool that we can also use that event on our resumes.

But back to the Master Chef that put it all together and guided us on our way to our personal nervous breakdowns, Chef Patrick! Gotta love that Frenchie. He knows his stuff and I only wish I knew what was in his head too. Eh, change that.... I'm talking strickly culinary stuff here. Something tells me there is actually more going on in his head than I need to know.

But one thing I think I may have possibly figured out is the way he keeps himself so calm, patient and fun. He MUST have a Xanax Atomizer Spray Bottle hidden away somewhere in the kitchen!! Or, he is simply an alien from another planet.

How does a guy wake up in the morning knowing he'll have a luncheon for 200 people while he has only 7 students to cook? How does he keep his shit in one sock when he later finds out that it will be 400 people? How does he know how much food to make? Oh yeah, just empty the walk-in refridge and put things together that no one ever thought of.

Take our "family meals" for instance. On mornings when we have extra time, someone will be assigned to make the family meal. This is for all of us in the kitchen and those serving out in the restaurant.

I never would have imagined that I would be scarfing up Vegetable Lasagne with Collard Greens, Bechamel Sauce and a tomato sauce for breakfast. (collard greens 'cuse we ran out of spinach). I mixed that with eggs scrambled by Ruben (my buddy Roobie) with mushrooms and who knows what else, (I call it mystery eggs); then the Veal Cheeks in a Hearty Red Sauce. The Orichiette pasta with meaty tomato sauce was good too. That was Breakfast!

This morning, family meal was slices of NY steaks, mashed potatoes, hash browns, and scrambled eggs. There was a lot of fruit left over from a fruit platter so I ate that during the morning work. I never knew breakfast could be so interesting. My stomach doesn't fully agree but hey, we have to try to just get along. Stomach is hungry, I have food, Let's Make a Deal.

I'm going to make a final ditch effort to find Chef ("Jeff" as Phil and I call him) Patrick's Atomizer Spray bottle. I know it has to be somewhere nearby. No one is THAT cool.

But maybe Jeff is.... I'll miss you Jeff!

Life in a Blender

Today was the hardest day of my schooling. The CCA hosted local politicians to a luncheon buffet which included Mayor Newsome and probably Jerry Brown showed. I don't know since I was busy trying to avoid my nervous breakdown from all the work we had to do.

Other classes were also involved, since it was a special event for Election Day. We had pastries from the Baking Classes, all the terrines, gallantines, sausages, and cold specialties like huge-mungeous fruit and cheese platters from the Advanced Garde Manger classes, and then there was the hot buffet items that our class, Restaurant Production, made. Mind you, there are only 7 of us in this class. We prepped a ton of food yesterday and had a ton more to cook today.

I had to prep Salmon, Cod, Trout, and Sea Bass. A lot of it. My hands still smell like fish. I also prepped a full huge ham yesterday and made a garlic-ginger sauce for it from the bones in the ham, I wish my hands smelled like ginger. I sliced up two full big cooked turkey breasts, hacked up some baked chicken legs and thighs and refilled chaffing dishes and empty platters to return to the buffet line. There was a leg of lamb cooked and sliced, pork chops, NY steaks, chicken breasts and veal roasts; we had vegetables, mashed potatoes, lasagne, pasta with sausage sauce, and on and on.

In the end, the Chef said we had 450 guests between 11:30 and 1:30!! I cannot believe it but my back and feet really believe it. It was amazing. 7 of us cooked hot foods for 450 people during 2 hours. We should get some kind of award or something for even showing up for this event. It was really madness at its finest. I had no clue I could do such work and I don't want to do it again! Our Chef is absolutely incredible. He had to think of all the things we had to do and every 15 minutes someone was calling for him or asking instructions. I don't know how he does it but he truly deserves his title of Master Chef. I'm in awe of him.

Where In The World Is Waldo (and Debra)?

Word was that I've been reported missing in the blogsphere; but I am now found. I stepped away for a while to do some life patching. Something like making a quilt, only a bit more difficult. Ripping out threads that have needed redoing and finding some cheeryier fabric to continue on with. I'm in a renewing process and just hope my ol'machine doesn't deconstruct. You don't wanna mess with cranky old machines - they have a life of their own sometimes.

Enough obteuse-ness. (is that a real word for Scrabble?) Anyway, I'm in my LAST FOUR DAYS of school!! I CANNOT believe it. One whole year has passed and I feel each and every sidewalk crack for it. Its been a fun year getting to know my classmates and working in so many kitchens for so many chefs; its been a most difficult year dealing with the loss of my previous life and family connections and some serious health issues; its been a blessed year just because I'm here writing about it and because I have a very dear family here close by who have helped me so much; and its been a huge one for the passing of my dad. All in one year. I'll call this One Year of a Soup with many ingredients.

During these last four days we are in our Restaurant Production class. Today we had our Mystery Basket competency, which is a menu that the Chef picks for us to cook within a certain time frame. If you forgot how to make something basically you were hosed. Chef separated our class in half (since our class is now only 6 or 7 students) and the first group made their menu while the rest of us prepped for a Huge Buffet that the school is hosting tomorrow for San Francisco's Political Finest (is that a Scrabble word? Nah, no such thing) for Election Day. We will have about 150 persons or resonable facsimiles of them.

Basically, we rummaged through our Walk-In Refrigerator, which is close to half the size of my entire dwelling. Anything was game ('scuse the pun) for cooking. There are lots of veggies I hope we have a heavy sauce for since they have passed some prime time in the fridge. It was a day of repetitive work. I personally took all the hard cheese pieces, portions and bits and shredded them all. My right hand thumb is still angry with me for having to hold onto little pieces of hard cheese and shredding them and my fingers in the process. Ouch.

During the second half of the morning the other half of our class had to make our mystery menu. The second half was Sommer, Phil and myself and we all had the same menu to make. We had a Mushroom Risotto to present at 11:30; an Apple, Nuts and Greens salad with a vinigarette dressing set for 11:45; then we had to make a steak, pommes frites (french fries), mayonnaise side with some zucchini that were "tourned". We all came up with pretty much almost the same presentations which was kind of odd. Even our garnishes. Sommer's risotto was the winner, Phil's salad got the medal and my steak and fries were killer. I was happy. Can't win them all but at least I was in the running.


I'm going to miss my classmates and working in the kitchens. But I am looking forward to working at the San Francisco Chronicle in the Food and Wine department! I can't wait to start writing articles and working with food and wine pairings. I've got my hopes pinned on doing some restaurant reviews too. That would be FUN! But, I don't know if they will give that position to an intern... We'll see. Wish me luck!

4 More Days. Much better than 4 More Years of the present Administration! Go out and Vote tomorrow!!!!